Right, what’s hygiene, and why do we need it? 

Hygiene is a series of practices to preserve our physical health. We all are reasonably hygienic, and we all know what would happen if we weren’t. We’d be kinda disgusting.

It’s pretty clear that internet can be pretty darn unhealthy, so we most definitely need a series of practices for hygienic internet use, if we want to preserve our mental health. I dream that someday, we’d all consider these practices normal, and the lack of good internet hygiene would be considered, like all good hygiene, disgusting, disrespectful, and threatening.

If you think about it, your lack is internet hygiene leads to some pretty disgusting behavior. Hours lost into a glowing screen, and you’re not sure if you even enjoyed it. Cell phone use while driving. Living in a constant haze of distraction, compulsively checking.

This is undoubtably not a complete list, but it’s a good starting point. These aren’t practices that you will do perfectly all at once, but I encourage you to choose one to try implementing right now.

Stop the show in between episodes.

Don’t let autoplay choose what you do with your time. If you choose to start the show again, fine. If you stop in between episodes you won’t accidentally stay up until 1:00.

Kill all notifications.

If you want to be productive, if you really want to be able to focus, all of the notifications have to go. An interruption can divert you for hours, and everyone loves interrupting us. Don’t let them. Figure out how to turn off as many notifications as possible, you’ll have a clearer head and you’ll get more done.

Don’t argue online.

We all know it does no good. It makes you angrier, it makes them angrier, and accomplishes nothing. It’s a waste of your finite life and encourages the worst part of you. It doesn’t matter if they’re wrong, you don’t need to be the one to correct them. Use the anger to produce something of worth. Indeed, it’s better to write a blog post about why their mode of thinking is wrong. Do that. Then at least you’ll clarify your thinking and produce something of value.

Don’t read the comments.

Comments sections are the garbage dump of the internet. A giant pile of people wasting time, trying to get attention, trying to provoke emotion. Sure, read the comments from your loved ones on that new picture of your baby, but as a general rule don’t read comments. Ever. At best they’ll be mildly amusing, a worst they’ll divert your life and make you angry. Don’t read them.

Don’t tolerate frustrating website design.

“Scummy Spamsite would like to send you notifications!” If using a website frustrates you, click away. Punish them for purposely wasting your time. They’re leeches, sucking the life force of people who visit their website. You can find good information everywhere, you don’t need theirs. If we all work together to ignore these awful, scummy websites, the awful scummy websites will disappear. 

Pay full price.

I’ve bought many things on sale. Games, software, etc. It’s nice to get a deal.

But over time, I end up with way too many things, and not enough time to use them all. None of us need more stuff, we need to value the things we have more.

How do we do this? One way is to buy fewer things, and pay full price. This supports the creators, and it means you’ll have fewer things. You’ll also value those things more, because we tend to value things based on what we pay for them. I know, that bundle/sale/discount sure is enticing, but don’t make a habit of buying a bunch of stuff just because they’re cheap. We already have too much stuff. Pay full price, and really value what you get.

Internet is alcohol.

Yep, scrolling social media is a shot of dopamine, just like drinking or gambling. If you treat internet the same way that a reasonable person treats alcohol (no alcohol for kids, limited use for adults) maybe you won’t become a hopeless addict.

Be positive in public, deal with negatives privately.

It’s just good manners. No one wants to hear you whining about someone else in public.

Don’t look for reassurance.

If you’re thinking about launching a creative project or making a big life change, don’t ask for advice/reassurance on social media. Often it’s a form of procrastination: You are afraid to make a change, you feel insecure, and so you seek reassurance.

There’s never enough reassurance.

The fear/insecurity will still be there. Don’t uselessly seek reassurance, just act in the face of fear. It’s the only way forward.

Don’t read news that has been passed through a lot of people.

The more people who pass along an infuriating piece of information, the more infuriating it’s likely to get. It warps and changes itself. Things that make people angry spread, and if people change them along the way, then the most infuriating versions tend to spread the most. Limit your news consumption.

Don’t be impulsive

This is a tough one for me. Take a breath, and ask someone you trust if what you’re about to do is a good idea. If you have to ask, it’s probably not.

Don’t watch YouTube late at night.

It makes you sad. You watch more YouTube to numb the sadness, and it makes you sadder still.

Don’t binge.

It’s not cute, it’s not funny, it’s not relaxation. It’s out-of-control behavior that Netflix and co. want to encourage, to turn into a positive, normal behavior. You enjoy things less when you binge. You’re kind of disgusting when you binge. You know it, someone needs to take you aside and talk to you about your binging. Binging is always unhealthy, don’t do it.

Don’t watch Netflix to “relax”.

We’ve got an epidemic of poor sleep. We’re figuring out that poor sleep leads to all sorts of bad outcomes. If you’re tired, you do NOT need to sit down and watch something to unwind. Brush your teeth, meditate, read, or go to bed. When you watch something to unwind, you’re messing with your sleep, you’re staying up later than you otherwise would, you’re eating mindlessly, you’re drinking too much, and you’re not actually relaxing. You’re setting yourself up for an even more exhausting day tomorrow.

Buy an alarm clock.

Don’t check your phone in bed. Don’t have your phone in the bed room. Don’t let your kids have their phone in the bedroom. It’s always bad, and it’s always negative. You’ll get worse sleep, you’ll be more anxious, you’ll be more depressed, and soon you’ll need your phone to get to sleep. You’ll be injecting yourself with a dose of negative emotion every night just before you go to bed, and periodically through the night. It’s terrible for you and your sleep. Buy an alarm clock, and EVERYONE leave your phones out of your bedroom.

Don’t use the internet to deal with boredom.

This is a tough one. If you’re bored, don’t go for the easy fix. Draw. Write. Work on a hobby, do something that improves you. Go for a walk. Let boredom drive you to positive change, not just more mindless consumption. The moment you realize you’re bored, jump up and take action. Don’t let the siren call of the internet tempt you. More internet won’t improve your life, or anyone else’s. Writing, creating, exercising, etc. will make you better, and you’ll be better able to help others.

Regularly turn off your internet so you can be bored.

The first time you unplug your internet/turn off your phone for a couple hours, you will learn something new about yourself. You’ll realize how often you have the impulse to check things. You’ll realize how unfamiliar long stretches of boredom are. You’ll be kind of miserable, most likely. If you start making a habit of turning off internet for a period of time – daily, weekly, whatever – you’ll start to look forward to it. It brings clarity of mind. Things that seem incredibly boring now (reading that book that you’ve been meaning to read for years) will start to seem interesting again. You’ll experience intense, restless boredom for a while, and then your brain will look around, and try to find something to do. With no internet candy to munch on, your good food will start to look appealing. When you’re starving, anything looks good. Do an internet fast regularly. (Oh, and actually turn it off, don’t just ‘stay off the internet’. ‘Staying off the internet’ is harder than you think. Actually remove your access.)

Don’t click if you know it’s just going to make you angry.

Take a deep breath, and leave it alone. Anger spreads easily, and it possesses your brain quickly. Don’t click. It’s unproductive, and it messes up your day. Imagine it as a “angry” button: there’s a button you can press that makes you angry. How often would you press it throughout the day? How much do you like being angry? You wouldn’t press that button of your own free will. When you click a link that you know is going to make you angry, That’s what you’re doing.

Don’t click on clickbait

If it’s sensational, if it’s alluring, if it’s just sooooo intriguing, it’s not worth your time and probably none of your business. Don’t click, don’t read. Don’t do the time-wasting survey. Don’t see the latest celebrity fails. Go do something that will better yourself or help someone else, or just do something that you actually enjoy. How many times have you said you wish you had time to read more? Read more. Play a game. Engage with something that you actually enjoy instead of engaging with content engineered to attract your eyeballs with its fluffy, forgettable nonsense.

Stay off Web MD

Unproductively ramp up my fear of death? No thank you.

Don’t scroll on social media.

You might have found this post through social media. It might be that my blog will suffer if everyone stops scrolling. That’s ok, because scrolling on social media makes people sad and wastes their time. If I’m put out of business because people stop scrolling on social media, then I’m happy.

The rules for not scrolling are these: you may look at any post that you can see without scrolling down the page. This way you won’t get sucked into the feed, you won’t emerge a long time later, wondering what you’re doing with your life. Check your messages, read the top post, and leave. Don’t scroll.

(Feel free to go to your Mom’s page and check it out. Go to a friend’s page and see how they’re doing. Do it on purpose. Scrolling your feed happens by accident.)

Set specific times of day to check your email, social media, etc.

…or you’ll check it constantly.

Unsubscribe from useless things (almost everything is useless).

If you get an e-mail that’s useless, unsubscribe. It’s eating up tiny bits of your time and attention. Get annoyed with how much time these messages are wasting. Unsubscribe. (Unless you really love the e-mails, in which case, subscribe! If you unsubscribe from most everything, you might have time to read the helpful emails.)

Don’t display a fictional, perfect life.

We have too much of this already. It’s a form of lying. If your online persona is too out-of-sync with who you are, you’re probably causing harm to other people. People who admire you might be overwhelmed by how perfect your life seems to be. Humbly post about your flaws. Don’t hide your warts. We have enough perfectly polished people living perfectly curated lives already. They’re awful, and bad for us all. Don’t contribute to the problem. If you’re following one of these people, stop.

Don’t punch people, no matter how much they deserve it.

Punching people is wrong.

Don’t seek sympathy.

Yes, your life is very tragic and interesting. Yes, you can get a lot of attention posting a long, dramatic call for help. Yes, a lot of lovely people will come to your aid. The problem is, you’re just creating an empty drama revolving around your life. You’re so focused on yourself and your problems, that before long you become self-obsessed, and of no good to anyone. Instead of seeking attention and posting like a narcissist, try to help someone. Get outside your own mind. It’s healthier, and maybe you’ll actually be useful to someone, instead of just obsessing about your latest struggle.

Put the phone away when you’re talking with someone.

A wall comes up when you check your phone. It’s kind of rude, and no one likes it. Everything can wait until later.

Put the phone out of reach when you’re driving.

Emphasis on OUT OF REACH. The phone is sneaky, and we’ll reach for it before we know what we’re doing. Put the phone where you can’t get to it. I suggest in the passenger’s side door. I don’t care that you get a few seconds of distraction in at the stop light. It’s not worth it. You’re setting yourself up to kill other people with your car. You’re putting my children at risk, you’re making our world more dangerous, and you’re doing it because you can’t be alone with your thoughts for two seconds. Don’t be a baby. If you feel like you can’t survive without your phone nearby, think of the children you might kill with your car. Think about standing on the side of the road, having to explain to the bereaved parents how important is was that you checked your Facebook. It was more important than their child’s life.

Addictive feelings aren’t happy feelings.

Addictive things produce dopamine, which is a motivation chemical, not a happy chemical. Addictive behaviors aren’t addictive because they make you happy; they’re addictive because they’re addictive. Don’t confuse happiness with the numbness of an addict.

Post to be helpful, not to get attention.

Attention-seeking behavior is a diagnosis, not normal behavior. Don’t seek pure attention, that way lies sensationalism and drama. Just try to help people. You’ll get attention if you’re really helpful.

Don’t post about politics.

Unless you’re writing a thoughtful article about politics, don’t post about them. It’s a waste of time. People who agree with you already agree, and people who don’t aren’t going to be convinced by a social media post. It’s a waste of time. Don’t do it.

Don’t post harangues.

No one wants to hear it. No one cares if you’re angry. You’re uselessly blowing off steam, and making yourself angrier. Stop.

If you’re antsy or restless, don’t assume it’s from lack of internet.

It’s not. You don’t have an internet deficiency. Spend that restless energy on something productive. Maybe face that creative project you’re deathly afraid of.

Don’t use internet to stoke your negative emotions.

If you tend to be angry/anxious, the internet has endless resources for making you more angry/anxious. You can be as angry/anxious as you want! You can enter a never-ending death-spiral of anger/anxiety! If you don’t want more pointless negative emotion in your life, stay away from the internet. Treat it like it’s a great danger. It is.

Don’t champion causes you can’t do anything about.

Yes, I know, it will make you look virtuous. It will also make you feel powerless. 

Try to care about things close to you, things that you can actually have some influence over.

No internet during meals.

Don’t infect your meals with internet. Sit down and talk with one another. 

Produce before you consume.

It’s not about improving yourself. It’s not about your happiness. Focus on being generous, and you’ll be better for it. Turn your gaze outward, try to see around the plank. Try to write something truly helpful. Make a video before you sink into hours of watching video. Learn to code a tiny game. Draw. Make something. Try to contribute to the world, don’t just consume. You don’t want to just be a mouth and a stomach, consuming everything in your path. Try to cultivate your eyes, your hands, your heart, your mind. Make a gift of your experience, insight, love – The world will be better for it. You will be better for it.