Attacking capitalism lets you off the hook. If the game is rigged, and the powerful are pulling the strings, then it’s ok if you fail. It’s inevitable. It’s ok that you don’t make money, that you don’t write that book, it’s ok that you fail, it’s ok that you never serve or help or contribute. What else do you expect? The game is rigged.

Attacking other groups – racial groups, psychographic groups, political groups, economic groups, religious groups – lets you off the hook. It’s ok if you don’t make a difference, it’s ok if you don’t love properly, it’s ok if you don’t contribute, if you’re not generous, if you’re angry – it’s inevitable. You’re just reacting the ongoing corruption caused by them.

Casting yourself as a victim lets you off the hook. Someone’s taking advantage of you, someone’s oppressing you, someone is responsible for your misery. Victimhood is an off-the-hook lifestyle.

Obsessing about self lets you off the hook. You have to find who you are. You have to go to therapy, you have to talk for hundreds of hours to friends, you have to post incessantly on social media about your latest interesting thought. You have to figure out who you are not be creation or contribution or love, but by shallow self-obsession. Self-obsession is the work of a lifetime, because you’ll never be able to focus on yourself enough to fill the void. It’s ok if your life is an empty page. You’re off the hook. No one will ever expect anything else from you.

Focusing on your pain lets you off the hook.

Constant distraction lets you off the hook.

Binging lets you off the hook. 

Being depressed lets you off the hook. It can be real, or it can be something to get you off the hook.

Anxiety lets you off the hook. You can’t, you can’t be on the hook because you’re too anxious. You’ve got enough to deal with. How can you help someone or give or write? Anxiety is a full-time job. You’re off the hook.

Embracing meaninglessness lets you off the hook. It will all be the same in 100 years, anyway. You’re off the hook.

Divorce lets you off the hook. You don’t have to figure out why you’re miserable, why you’re bad at relationships, why it isn’t working out. You don’t have to figure out how to love your spouse again, how to be lovable yourself. You don’t have to consider that you’re just as much at fault as your spouse. You don’t have to look yourself in the mirror of your marriage and hate what you’ve become, don’t have to figure out how to be better. Pull the plug. You’ve have all sorts of interesting emotions and heartbreak. People might even rally around you. You’re off the hook.

Hating humanity lets you off the hook. Believing humans are a virus on the planet lets you off the hook. Why love or care for creatures who cause global warming/kill each other/take advantage of each other/oppress each other? Why care for yourself? Why contribute, work, care? Just watch online video and drink. You’re off the hook.

Online news lets you off the hook. There’s always something new to panic or obsess about. How can you do anything worthwhile when the next disaster is looming? You’re off the hook.

There’s a different way. 

Choose to be on the hook.

Be on the hook to create every day, to contribute expertise and gifts or love.

Be on the hook to love people, to be truthful and kind.

Be on the hook to make sure you’re not feeding the selfish, ego-obsessed side of your personality.

Be on the hook to become the sort of person who is a good spouse, good parent.

Be on the hook to care for yourself, so you’re not a mess, so you can help people and love people well.

Be on the hook to do your best in bad situations. To reject self-pity and victimhood. 

Be on the hook to transcend pain and turn it into fuel, fuel to help other people.

It’s harder.

It’s better to be on the hook.